Image of a man relaxing in a recliner, a bunch of cans all around him, while his wife cleans up after him. Text overlay reads, "She is not your maid."

There’s a quiet epidemic in Christian households—one that rarely gets preached from pulpits or printed in devotionals. It’s the slow erosion of a woman’s spirit under the weight of a marriage that feels more like servitude than sacred partnership.

Many women are waking up to a painful truth: marriage, as it’s often practiced today, doesn’t reflect God’s design. Instead of mutual love and stewardship, it becomes a lopsided contract where the man clocks out after work, while the woman never stops laboring—at her job, in the home, with the children, and in the spiritual trenches.

And let’s be honest: too many men aren’t looking for a wife—they’re looking for a replacement mother. Someone to cook, clean, soothe, and sacrifice while they recline in comfort. But God never called women to be the emotional janitors of a man’s unchecked entitlement.

Scripture Speaks:

Marriage Isn’t Mandatory for Joy

Jesus Himself said plainly:

“It is good for a man not to marry.” — 1 Corinthians 7:1

And later Paul echoes:

I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God.” — 1 Corinthians 7:7

And Paul continues on to say:

"Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." — 1 Corinthians 7:8,9

Marriage is not a requirement for fulfillment. In fact, scripture suggests that singleness can be a sacred calling—freeing us to serve God without distraction.

Even in the Old Testament, we see a moment of divine disruption:

“For the Lord God of Israel says that He hates divorce, for it covers one’s garment with violence.” — Malachi 2:16

Yet, Jesus also said:

“If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children... yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.” — Luke 14:26

This isn’t a call to literal hatred—it’s a radical reordering of priorities. If your marriage is suffocating your purpose, silencing your voice, and sabotaging your spiritual growth, then it’s time to ask: Is this union holy—or harmful?

Women, You’re Allowed to Say No

You are not obligated to marry a man who doesn’t reflect Christ. You are not required to stay in a relationship that drains your joy, your creativity, or your divine assignment. You are not created to be a man’s emotional mule.

If he’s not a believer—if he doesn’t honor your calling, your boundaries, or your brilliance—then what covenant are you really entering into?

“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.” — 2 Corinthians 6:14